{Wrap it up & top it with a bow}

It's funny to me, to think that I started this blog three years ago. Luckily for you, & me, I deleted the earliest blog posts long ago to save myself from any future embarrassment. But when I think about it, I write these blogs for me, & I don't really care what other people think about them, however, I do love it when people read my blog, comment, give me feedback, share it, & make it blow up {hint hint}. But I write all of these blogs for myself. Writing is the best way I know to express myself. It's kind of like my own journal or diary, but unlike most people, I choose to make it public, instead pf private. The issues or things I address are something that is going on in my life, or something I'm dealing with or trying t learn from. This journal is for my own personal growth, thoughts, & opinions. So why do I choose to publish it? Because I hope that some of these issues or topics may be relevant to other peoples' lives or may help someone in a way that they didn't know.

I don't really think of myself as a great writer & I certainly need to work on my typing skills, because I type like I'm in third grade. You know the two pointer finger technique? Well definitely using that to type this out. Also, I am a terrible speller. Thanks goodness for spell check, because otherwise, ha let's just not go there, shall we? Even though I don't think I'm a good writer, I do enjoy writing. I like to be expressive & creative. Writing blog posts about what I want, when I want, & with no deadline is so much more enjoyable than if I were to be given a specific topic to write about.

Just like in any journal or diary, I address the problem & what I think would be a possible solution. Sometimes, my answers aren't always right, something I'm still in the experimenting process myself. But I always try to think of things in a positive way.

To recap this year, it wasn't my best. It was very up & down, a constant roller coaster motion for me. It was hard for me to remember who I was before I came into 2013. My school year wasn't the greatest. I was a really sucky friend, daughter, & sister. Most importantly, my faith struggled. I've spent the last 4 months doing a lot of rebuilding. The rebuilding of friendships, of relationships, of self-image & self-worth, & a lot of trust.

I've learned a lot of lessons, & a reached a lot of limits. I've hit rock bottom, climbed back, crashed back down, & headed to the top again. I've put myself in front of other people, so when that didn't seem to be getting me anywhere really, so I flip flopped positions & became frustrated that that wasn't working either.

This year I searched for my own answers a lot. Learned o do a lot of relying. I relied a lot on my parents, my older sister, old high school friends, & a lot on God. When your faith is very minimal, it is hard to put all of your trust into something that you can't see. But seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing. I know that's an over used cliche, but it fits more than perfectly into my life. Every single day, God gives me a second chance. & I know & trust that He always will.

This year has taught me that alone is good, alone is peaceful. Reflection time gave me the opportunity to look at myself in the mirror & point out the things that needed to change about me. Now that I've got most of my health back, I got the chance to improve it even more, by adding routines & exercises into my daily schedule. My physical health began to improve. My spiritual health began to improve. I just began to improve.

I want to end this post with a positive note to several people who have been an influence on my life in this past year, even if they don't realize it, I want to thank them for just being an example to me.

Mom & Daddy- I can't think of anything better to say than just, Thank you & I love you.

My Soprano Sectional- Getting to know & bond with you girls this semester has been so uplifting, & I CANNOT wait to get back to school to spend more time with each of you.

Dr. Clark Roush- You sir, have just been very consistent about checking up on me, which I greatly appreciate & I cannot express how much I just needed to hear the words you have to say every day in choir rehearsal.

The Dames {Emily, Elle, Danielle, & Melanie}- You girls are my glue. Keep me from falling part. Even when separated by miles & miles, by hours & trains, bus rides, plane flights, long drives through boring states, when I get together with you it seems like we weren't ever apart.

Shannon Leinen, Christi Lones, Jackie Spivey & Janet Rush- Without you knowing it, you have impacted my life. You have been such wonderful examples of YC Women of Valor, for setting godly examples daily on our campus. We are very grateful for you to share your knowledge & passion with us. Thank you for your servant hearts.

The Sophomore Girls {Karlie, Heidi, Nicole, Soren, Caroline, Eryn, Haley, Melanie, Chloe, & Lindsay}- I thank God everyday for the wonderful Christian examples you set for me. You are just the set of girls I needed to push me to get through this semester.

Courtney King, Morgan DeBoer & Tara New- Without you three, giving me support & advice when I didn't think I needed it, I probably would not even have made it through this semester.

Nolan, Levi, Cole, & Grant- Thank you for being my sanity & for holding me together with your daily hugs.

Jordan, Alaia, & Alyssa- The best roommates I could have ever asked for. Thank you for being so wonderful to me all the time. I Learning how to grow up was much easier when you were there with me.

My Boys {Garrett, Nick, Dylan, Micheal, & Jordy}- Thanks for the laughs, the memories, the experiences, & for just letting me be one of the "bros" when I needed to be.

Theta Psi & Sigma Tau- For always being the pick me up that I needed.

Kate & the Cheer Squad- Thank you for being my light & my support. I am so thankful to be on a team with each of you beautiful, lovely, & talented ladies.

& to YOU- Yes you. The one reading this right now. For your support. For following me on this years journey. For the comments, the "likes", the shares. I appreciate you.

Well now that this post is 12 years long, God bless you all. Merry Christmas.

Peace & love.
B.

{The Perfect Prince Charming}

Since the time I was three I've had the vision of finding my Prince Charming. It might have had a lot to do with my obsession with Disney movies & princesses, which I still learn life lessons from, but also the idea of being madly in love fascinated me. I can tell you every detail of the dream wedding that I've had planned for years. Every detail except who the groom is.

First off, let's get this one thing straight. The classic Disney Princesses are the best. No doubt about it. I don't think that these Disney Pixar ones should count. & the second thing we need to get straight, Ariel, yeah, she's the best. I mean she's a mermaid & a princess. The best of both worlds. Duh. I went to college & dyed my hair red to actually live out the dream. I modeled my life after these princesses, singing & dancing my way through life. Now I'm like a modern day Cinderella (my second favorite princess) working as a janitor for the college.

My love for the perfect ballgown came about when I started going to proms, running for school dance queen, taking on the nickname "Princess" on our high school cross country team. Having so many pairs of high heals & no where to wear them except when I'm making dinner for my friends. My whole life I've been conditioned to be a princess. & every one knows that every princess has a handsome prince. Someone who rides in on a valiant steed & saves the day.Now that I'm 20, & the fact that I'm single, makes me realize that not every princess gets her prince right away.

I found my prince though. He isn't the one that I was exactly looking for, but he's one that I will always be able to count on & rely on. He won't ever let me down, won't turn me away when my life gets too complicated. He is patience, forgiving, & loves me regardless of how many times I break his heart. You see this prince didn't ride in on a valiant steed, but a donkey. He didn't were a crown of jewels, he wore a crown of thrones. He welcomes all the little children & gives value to women.

My prince, is also my savior. He came & defeated the biggest dragon. No Prince Eric or Prince Charles, or Prince Philip or any combination of them could do that on their own. My Prince Charming is Jesus Christ because he actually laid down his life to save mine. I know you may think this is kind of corny, but it's all so real to be. It's the fairy tale I've always wanted. & I'm just now realizing that I've always had it & will continue to have this dreamlike life for the rest of mine.

I am a daughter of the one true King, which makes a princess, if you actually think about. So all my hopes & dreams have already come in. We are all children of God, which means we should all live as royalty.

Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart." You see, I desired love, & I gt more than I could ever ask thanks to the blood of Jesus.

I know there is some physical Prince Charming waiting somewhere, probably under a lily pad because I refuse to kiss any frogs to find him, but right now, I've got all I need. Now just comes the part of life where I wait for the bride groom to come & take me away to live in paradise.

Peace & love.
B.