{A Joyful Life}

I've recently done some evaluating of my life. & what I've found isn't pleasing. I've looked at how I treated people, things I have said, things I have done. & I've been disappointed. I've always thought that I was better than the world, that I'm not the type to give into worldly things all because God was on my side. Yes, God was there, but He gives me the freewill to take chances and risks, & always pulls me back into His arms when I cry out for Him.

For the past couple of years I have had some major health issues. I have made several lifestyle changes & been put on several limited diets, tried medicine after medicine, done medical test after test. I can't tell you how many times I've had blood drawn or been hooked up to how know's what machine in the past year. I've even eaten radioactive eggs to try to figure out the problem. But everything they think they've got an answer, or a solution, just something to make me feel a little better & lessen the pain, even if it's just a little bit, something always changes. I don't have any constants in my life. I'm sick & tired of being sick & tired. & every time something changes, after I get out all of my tears, I'm angry. Angry at anyone, everyone. Angry at God. I think out of all of my siblings, why I am stuck with this? It's frustrating & irritating to day in & day out be left with no answers or permanent solutions. While I'm stuck eating gluten-free food, on a low-fat diet, with a lactose intollerancy, I just want some macaroni & cheese. I mean really, is that too much to ask?

With all my anger comes plenty of complaining and negativity, I mean just feel free to check my Twitter account, {even the 48-hour positive Tweet challenge Dr. Roush, my choir director gave me a week ago, was extremely difficult.} it isn't necessarily the most uplifting thing. But who am I to complain? I am blessed. So very blessed. I live in a country where my freedom is for real, & I've got doctors to try to help me feel better. I have clean water. Actual clean water. I mean I pay over $20,000 to go to an institution that gives me a Christian education. I live in a place where I am able to achieve my dreams & set high goals for myself. Last summer, I was given the challenge of keeping a "Joy Journal." In this Journal, I was only allowed to right down things that bring me joy. The simple little things in life that I take for granted every single day. A few things on my list would be: naps, chocolate, toilet paper, fruit snacks, & Starbucks. Simple enough, right? Well I suggest you try to take up this challenge & start your own "Joy Journal." Philippians 4:4 says "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again, I say Rejoice!" So let's celebrate what we are graciously blessed with.{I also would suggest reading the whole book of Philippians because it is just a very uplifting book.}

But back to my anger towards God, I have learned to give Him control. I've decided to cast all my burdens upon Him, 1 Peter 5:7, or Psalm 55:22, because I know He will get me through this. The Lord is on my side, and with Him all things are possible. {Philippians 4:13}

Peace & love.
B.

{1 Down, 7 To Go}

Well, I now can successfully say I completed my fist semester of college. Just like my good friend, Martin Callen said, "That was college, huh? I could do that 7 more times." What a kid! He is great! I want to start off by saying all praise be to God for putting me at York, & a major thank you to my parents & grandparents who supported me while I study there. I am so blessed with the opportunity to be at a school where I get to feel so much love every single day. I have met so many beautiful, loving, & caring people in the past four months, & it truly has been a blessing to have their support & love every time I leave my dorm room. York has been such a blessing to me & has helped me grow spiritually & mentally. Though there were some challenges, revelations, ups & downs, tears & laughter, I can honestly say, this is where I belong. God knew exactly what He had in mind for me when I moved away August 15th, 2012.

In the short few months that I have been here, York has taught me so many things, helped me to grow up, & helped me to focus my life. I have heard so many great chapel speakers (Ramses, Macy, Pres. Eckman, Dr. Mountjoy, & so many others) & I've heard plenty of beautiful devos & stories of how God is working everyday in someone's life. I've seen the students & faculty come together in times of need to help out Leo & the Caranza family, & just showering people in prayer when they need it the most, or don't think they need it at all. GOD IS SO GOOD! The Lord really has blessed me with this opportunity of learning & I know over the next three & a half years, He will continue to bless me & guide me. Learning to give God control is one of the best lessons I could have ever learned, & I'm so grateful I did. Getting to feel His love & compassion when I wake up in the morning, ready to face each day as a new experience & adventure, is the best feeling ever. No matter how crummy I may feel, or how awful I may look, God will continue to love me & watch out for me. I cannot wait to see how He will use me & where He will lead me!

I hope that all of you one day will be able to feel the love that God has showered upon me over this entire first semester. "Do not fear, for I am with you." -Isaiah 41:10

"Inside is a weak heart, but behind it is a strong God."

God is good all the time. All the time, God is good!


Peace & love
B.

{This Kind Life}

College has made me realize a couple of things:

1. Sleep is a very treasured thing.
2. Coffee is so good for your soul.
3. Skipping meals to take naps is sometimes a good idea.
4. Wal-mart is from the Devil because all it does is eat your money.
5. Waiting until the last minute to do your laundry is probably a bad thing.

But, overall, I've held on to one truth: God will always be there.

I was on crutches for a couples of weeks {hallelujah I'm finally off them!}. I got kicked during a club activity by a kid, & well it bruised up my leg pretty bad. But anyway... I saw small acts of kindness from several people around this campus, whether or not I personally know them, everyone was very kind. So I wan to say a big THANK YOU to the the YC campus. But through all these acts of kindness, such as offering to carrying my stuff, or myself, or opening doors, carrying my crutches as I tried to gimp down the stairs to chapel, I was able to see God.. He was using the kids here to be a light for Him. I think everyone should experience the kindness I was shown for those few weeks every single day. I mean just jump on crutches & you'll see how suddenly kind people are towards you. I'm not saying that the people her at YC are awful, they are far from that! But I am saying, that when you are obviously struggling, then people are more willing to help you out. If only people could see when you are emotionally or spiritually struggling like they can when you are physically struggling with a gimp limp. It's easy for everyone to put on a happy face & go about their day as if nothing is wrong, but could go & lose it when alone.

I wish people would go out of their way everyday to be kind to everyone. Because who knows, maybe that person is just having a bad day, & you simply telling them "Good morning" or "Have a great day". Take time out of your day to just do that. It doesn't take much effort & it's not like you really have to try hard to open up your mouth and speak. Be the light that Jesus would show you.

Have a great day, everyone! God & I love you! :)

Peace & love.
B.