{My Favorite Antique}

I went antique shopping yesterday. Let me tell you, I found some pretty awesome things. But let me tell you this, old stiff is EX
PENSIVE! I settled on some treasures that would be a perfect Father's day gift for my Daddy, I won't tell you what they are, in case he might read this. I remember when I was little, and even now, when my family treks down to Arkansas to visit my mom's parents, we stop at several antique shops & malls along the side of the interstate. My parents are suckers for cool artifacts that have beautiful character & history.

One of the coolest antique places I have ever been in my life would be Grandpa's basement. This isn't some store in the side of the road, it's not even a store, it's my Grandpa's collection of antiques all stored & displayed in the basement of his house. We would beg as little girls to go down there to look at all of the things in the "room." Grandpa's house was always full of new, old things for us to marvel at. The shed was full of things, as well. My brother thought he was a star of American Pickers & would gather things from the old pig barn & bring them up to the house to show us. Grandpa would go to more auctions & sells than anyone else I know. I can't tell you how much money he would spend on things, some things would be the most pointless, some would be pretty awesome, but he would buy it, big or small, then Thad would have to go get it from the sell tent. My brother's favorite sell story is when there were two cowboy dressed mannequins at a sell, one boy & one girl, which Thad saw, & specifically told Grandpa not to buy. But when the item rolled around Grandpa's number was thrown up for a bid for the boy. Thad had to go get it from the tent, brought it back, & Grandpa said, "Now go get the other." I can only imagine how far back Thad rolled his eyes as he turned to go get the other mannequin.

My summer started off rocky with Grandpa passing away & going to his heavenly home the day after my sister & cousin's college graduation. Waking up to that phone call from my dad was one of the hardest things to do. My sister Jordan runs over, literally runs, over to where I am at in town. I ask why she ran, & she replied, "You can't cry when you're running." Together we stood & held each other in the middle of the street as we cried.

As the week went on, the family all gathered out on the family farm to look through all photographs, share funny stories of Grandpa & memories with him. We had such an outreach from the community, neighbors, friends, & our church family. They also shared stories for Grandpa & the love he had shown to them. Grandpa was a remarkable man. He was the grouchiest at most times, but he also was the most fun when he would play kickball in the back yard with us.

At the funeral, us grandkids got up to sing a song, most of us couldn't make it through it, I blame Taylor for being the first to crack, & when you have a group of sympathetic criers, the rest were soon to follow. Myself a& a few of my cousins & siblings got up to share memories about Grandpa with the large group gathered to remember him. I read writings from my two younger sisters who shared stories of laughter & joy at Grandpa's house. My brother spoke about the time Grandpa sat on Maddie's lap at Thanksgiving. My sister, Jordan, spoke about how Grandpa loved the farm. I talked about how Grandpa had great taste in the dresses he bought us, the ones we picked out for ourselves. Grandpa bought all of us granddaughters, and daughters-in-law, & his two own daughters one last dress the month of his passing. We all take pride in Grandpa's purchases & joke about his fabulous style.

Grandpa was my favorite antique. Grandpa had more character, & stories than any other antique I've seen. He's gotten in trouble & been the hero. He had more life experiences & even more hardship than most antiques go through. He wasn't the type of antique you could just stick on a shelf, he had to be used. Though he used to be one of the strongest men I knew, I watched as he grew older, sicker, more frail. I blessed to be his farm boy, to be his helper, to sit by him every Sunday morning in church. Grandpa always brought up my health more than his own. He would whisper sarcastic remarks in my ear as church services would go on, & would sing through anything. He always lead the family in prayer when we'd go out to eat. Thought us, our whole family, to love the Lord.

Tomorrow will mark the one month time period of his passing. Everyday I see my Grandpa Dress hanging in my closet, and Grandma's necklace sitting on my dresser. I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have had such beautiful grandparents. I was lucky, I am lucky, I will continue to be blessed with my Grammy & Pawpaw, & Great-Grandmother in Arkansas.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15

Fly high, Grandpa. I love you.

Peace & love.
B.

{Beautiful Soul}

My life has been so incredibly crazy this past year. I've grown & learned so much in just a mere 12 months. It's amazing all the lessons you can learn & all the journeys you can take, & all the mistakes you could make in a blink of an eye. The people you meet today may be your best friends tomorrow, & your best friends might forget you. Life goes on. Being content with what you have in the present is what is important.

When you become an independent individual, you come to realize how much relationships an effect you. I left my first year of school thinking I had a solid group of friends, but somehow, things didn't turn out that way in the fall, was I upset? Yes, but it gave me time to rely on what I had. I had my God, & my mom, well & the rest of my family. That's all a girl needs! I cried about as many times as I prayed, & then called my mom.

My mom has been such a rock in my life this past year. Driving out specifically to visit me or talk with me in person. Greeting me at home with a hug & a kiss on the cheek. I know Mother's Day was a little bit ago, but I think our mother's should be honored more than once a year. My mom is a rockstar.

A lesson I learned from her is to sacrifice your wants for other's needs. Sometimes you have to give more than you take. It's okay to laugh when you don't know what else to do, but then to pray harder than you laughed. The beautiful soul that I am lucky enough to call my mom, is the strongest woman I know. The wittiest too.

I love my mom. As should everyone else.
Wishing my mother a life full of joy, happiness, love, peace, & laughter.


Peace & love.
B.

{The Measuring Tape}

Labels. We all have them. The idea however, is to look past them, to see through these descriptions. Our personality traits play a major hand in how we are defined. Little words & big words can all be very descriptive of someone.

If I were to look at myself in the mirror, I would like to think positive things of myself. Think that I was cute in some sort of way. Funny in another way. Confident in all ways. But then if I were to go back to the same mirror five minutes later, I would see the flaws that I missed at first. My elbows are too knobby. My Eyeliner isn't perfect. My teeth aren't white enough. I'm plagued by these things that I see. By the way I look at myself. Society has set this standard for me to be this version of "perfect" that not even models on magazine covers can achieve.

I once saw a post, on some website, probably Pintrest, that read "To achieve the natural beauty look, you only need these 27 products." Uhh, I thought you said natural beauty? I must have read that wrong then. Anyway, it was a gag post, just trying to point out the fact that in order to even be au naturale, you must be done up, & made up. What a fake way to be you.

We live in a dehumanizing world that tries to compare your teeth with your eyes, your nose with your ears, & your hands to you feet. Things that should never be compared because they are different things.

As someone who as always been skinny or slender, I feel a lot of pressure to remain that way. But there's a difference between being skinny & being healthy. & trust me, it has taken me years to figure that out.

As a college student, you gain weight, it's just a fact. I have a friend who gained the typical "Freshman 15" when we first started college. However, this past summer & year, she's worked her butt off to lose that weight, & then some, then as a result, has been able to maintain just one weight for this school year. She said that it didn't matter that they weren't losing the weight anymore, but just the fact that she was being healthy. & you know what, who cares if you're a little big bigger, or a little bit smaller, everyone has a different body type. There is no fair way to judge me & you, or him & her.

What I don't understand about people is the fact that everyone hates to feel judged by someone else, but then they turn around & do it to other people. Come on people, God made you all in a special sort of way. I don't get how society gets away with defending the child with a mental disability, or a person because of their race, but then goes & decides to rip apart the girl who is a little bit bigger than the rest, or the boy doesn't size up with all the other boys around his age. Who cares? Like who really cares about your height, about your weight, about the size of shoe you wear or the color of eyeliner you decided to try out. Who really cares? We all have emotions & feelings, we all understand the pressure that is put on us daily to be this unrealistic idea of "perfect."

I wish everyone could see that they are enough. The size of your jeans or the color of your eyes does not define your character or your value. It does not define whether you are joyful or friendly. In the long run, beauty fads, fashions change, & then we will all look back & laugh at ourselves for what we thought was "cool."

I hate how today's world has turned the term "beautiful" into an ugly thing. We despise those who are beautiful because they are not us. We want to be that beautiful, but can't because even that beautiful is fake. I would really like someone to tell me who decided what the definition of beautiful was. I honestly don't think it is: size 2, 110 lbs, 5'5", blonde hair, blue eyes. I think when God created the world, He created it all to be beautiful, but as we've developed eyes that see flaws, we can only begin to focus in on those flaws. I see beauty as confidence, & as joy, as love & peace.

If society would stop trying to put a measuring tape to our waist & stop trying to force a gap between our thighs, or shape the muscles on our arms & stomach into an unnatural shape, then maybe we could see the beauty God instilled in each of us; all of the unique qualities that are placed on our bodies. I'm so sick of being told that there is some standard that we need to live up to, when really the only standard we need to live up to is the one that Jesus set for us, for us to love, not hate, & love starts with ourselves.

Peace & love.
B.